Bassanio n' tha Hood - Year 10

So, I have been thinking about the nature of Shakespearean speech lately whilst teaching it to my Year 7s and 10s. How strange we find it - the idea of a load of chaps stood around on a stage talking in rhythm and rhyme whilst propagating bawdy sexual references, objectifying women and basing their life's success on how much money they are able to accrue. Then the shuffle-function on my iPod quite poignantly redirected me to the Dr. Dre album '2001'. There it all was - the sexism, the preoccupation with material wealth, the violence, the tenuous excuses for rhyme. Clearly, the vast majority have mis-judged the whole rap-genre - these men aren't sexists, homophobes, avarices. They are fundamentalist Shakespeareanists!

Well, in the spirit of the hip-hop genre's tireless efforts at keeping the Bard of Stratford's moral schema alive, I have crafted a little street-soliloquy from the point-of-view of that delightful little sponge, Bassanio. My assignment for the Year 10's - To construct a similar response to the storyline of 'The Merchant of Venice' from the point of view of Portia. Print these off in the end of the lesson and hand them in so I can see what you have been able to come up with!

Criteria For Success:
1. The rap must be made entirely of rhyming couplets
2. It must be written entirely from the perspective of Portia and give a sense of the character's feelings.
3. The rap must be at least 14 lines long and no longer than 40.
4. Add details here and there if you wish but you must refer to events that actually happen in the play.

Mr. Brown's Example...

Bassanio’s Rap

Let me tell you all the story of a usurous Jew

who tried to take a pound of flesh from one of my crew.

I had to borrow some ducats from my homey Antonio

so I could go to Belmont and play at being Romeo

but all of his gold was tied up overseas

so we had to go to Shylock and get on our knees

we thought he was doing us some kind of favour

but he wasn’t - it turned out flesh was his flavour.

I took a few friends to go see Portia,

she wasn’t just rich, but she was equally gorgeous

and she remember me from years ago

when I arrived she said ‘oh my god it’s Bassanio’

but even though it seemed I had her love in a basket

I still had to choose from one of three caskets

One made of gold, one silver, one lead,

each with an inscription, this is what they said…

Gold said – choose me and get what men desire,

That seemed a bit snidey – no smoke without fire.

Silver said – choose me and get what you deserve,

Like I’d ever choose that – unless I was beserk

But the lead one said ‘hazard all you have’

Which is pretty much nothing, so I gave it a stab.

As it turned out, I’d picked the right box for real,

It was like a Shakespearean Deal or No Deal!

But before we got married I asked my sweetheart

Do you think I could quickly borrow Daddy’s credit card?

My homey Antoney’s in a bit of a ruckus,

‘Cos to get me here he borrowed 3000 ducats.

She said ‘Of course my love’ as she took my hand,

And so began my life as a kept man.

I got back to Venice, it was all going down

Shylock was preparing to extract his pound

But just as it looked like bad would win over good

We pointed out that he was allowed to spill no blood.

The Jew dropped his knife and started going ballistic,

then he got his comeuppance for being sadistic.

Because Shylock had shown no humanity

we took his money and made him convert to Christianity.

The moral of the story’s quite simple to me,

Neither a borrower or a lender be.